Shhh, the baby's sleeping (or is he?)

Here's a quick method for seeing how loud or quiet your house is: 

  1. Have an infant that is almost asleep.
  2. Walk the baby around your house at 3am.
  3. Open a door, or shift positions on the floor.

If your house is anything like mine, at 3am, with the quiet outside, and the quiet inside, the floor can squeak in places, and in ways, you never thought possible. A door creaking open is the loudest sound you've ever heard, and if you forget to soft-close the door afterward, the latch against the strike plate is like a gunshot. And the kiddo is having none of it. 

I offer no solutions for these maladies (other than the Christmas miracle of WD-40), only a knowing nod in your general direction that I too know what you're up against. 

We're currently taking shifts at night, since the boy doesn't tend to favor the co-sleeper we have next to the bed. During my shifts, if I'm not able to get him to sleep a tad in his crib, I have indulged in non-age-appropriate viewings like Jessica Jones and Chris Rock's Top Five. 

We have also (we believe) entered into the Purple Crying Zone. I had hoped Santa would skip our house this year with this particular gift, but I think we had a sneak peek last night when he wouldn't be soothed, regardless of diaper and food status. For those unfamiliar, Purple Crying is the Pixar-esque way of saying crying that won't stop. Crying that has no discernible cause. Crying that basically says "screw you and your feeble attempts to fix it". Cryin' that would make Aerosmith proud.

I'm hoping we're wrong, and the bout we had was just a precursor to the giant poop that followed three hours later (which, if you recall, we love). 

Happy holidays from all of us here; the kiddo wishes you safe travels, good food and drink, and a relaxing time to be had by all.

I wish you no crying, and a good poop.